In Honor of my Father

In Honor Of My Father
July 26, 1998 was a Sunday. This year, July 26 is a Sunday as well.
On that Sunday eleven years ago, my Father left this world.
His sudden death was a shock to everyone. Everyone that is, except me.
You see, just a few weeks earlier I had gone to my parents house for a visit. It was Fathers Day 1998. I arrived in the morning. My Mother had prepared a nice “noon time” dinner. That was their custom on Sunday’s. They would attend Sunday school and Church, and then arrive home to have their main meal between Noon and 1pm.
I remember it as being a beautiful early summer day. I remember a blue sky, gentle breezes and warm temperature.
After eating, I helped my Mother clean up the dishes. My Father would usually dry the dishes. My Mother would wash. (There was no dishwasher in their home)
But on this day, I stepped into the role of dish dryer and my Father went out on the back porch to relax. The back porch was right outside of the kitchen and the window was open. As my Mother and I chatted, my Father would add comment through the open window. It was a cheerful and pleasant exchange.
When we were finished, my Mother went upstairs to change clothing and I went outside and sat down in the chair next to my Father.
Our ensuing conversation will be in my mind forever.
My Father tells me that Mom is starting to slow down. She has days where she is feeling unwell and he is worried about her.
If I were to go first, he says, I don’t know what she will do to take care of herself. I pray to God that if we are ready to go, that she will go first. I will have a week or so to take care of business and then I will follow quickly. Therefore we will not be a burden on our children.
Without really knowing my parents, that may sound like a strange statement. In fact, although it surprised me, I did not find the remark unusual. My Father and Mother were so intertwined in Love and in Life that they seemed to breathe in unison.
My Father went on to tell me that he did not feel as if he would be around much longer. He was 77 years old and the “Good Book “did state that mankind was given 70 years by God. So he felt that the past 7 years were an unexpected gift. (Talk about Conditioning and a self professed destiny!)
Now, my father did have a heart valve replacement around the age of 70. After the surgery he had a hard recovery and always stated that he was living on borrowed time.At that time he was told that in 8-10 years he would most likely have to replace it again. It was a tissue valve and not a mechanical valve. He was adamant in the fact that he would never go through that surgery again. So I do believe that he expected the valve to stop being effective shortly and I also believe that he may have been experiencing symptoms. He would not complain, as he knew that we would insist that he have medical care.
So here we are, sitting on the porch on that glorious Fathers Day and my Father is explaining to me what I need to do in the event of his passing before my Mother.
Make sure you come to visit her often, he says. If she gets to a point where she needs to have someone with her all the time, I am depending on you and Michelle ( my daughter) to make sure that is afforded to her. I have planned financially to take care of her, so use that money to keep her and make sure that she is well cared for.
I learned later that he had similar conversations with my daughter, Michelle. We both tried very hard in the years that followed to keep our promises to him.
I listened intently to what my Father was saying. I remember “knowing” in my heart that this would be the last time we would speak face to face, but I pushed that feeling aside and jokingly said, “Dad, you are a worrier. You will be around for many more years, but promise me that if you do go, You will find a way to let me know that you have arrived and are O.K.
We then went on to a more pleasant topic of discussion and had a very enjoyable day.
Thursday July 30, 1998
I arrive back to my Mother’s house after my Father’s Funeral. I am amazed at what an absolutely gorgeous day it is. I sit alone on the steps of the same back porch where our last face to face conversation had taken place. I have a surreal feeling. How can the birds sing so sweetly? How can the Sun shine so brightly? How can the gentle breezes caress my face so splendidly? Do they not know that my Father is dead?
As I sit alone in my grief I have one thought come into my head. Over and over it plays. I cannot stop it. It is incessant. It is a song ….I believe by the Byrds. It goes…
To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn) There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn) And a time for every purpose, under Heaven A time to be born, a time to die A time to plant, a time to reap A time to kill, a time to heal A time to laugh, a time to weep To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn) There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn) And a time for every purpose, under Heaven A time to build up,a time to break down A time to dance, a time to mourn A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn) There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn) And a time for every purpose, under Heaven A time of love, a time of hate A time of war, a time of peace A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn) There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn) And a time for every purpose, under Heaven A time to gain, a time to lose A time to rend, a time to sew A time to love, a time to hate A time for peace, I swear it's not too late

It plays in my head over and over again. In some strange way it gives me comfort.
I start to feel a deep sense of peace.

Fast forward to a few weeks later. I am at my Mother’s house. We are packing up some of my Fathers things from the bedroom. On the night stand next to their bed is a large leather bound Bible. It is engraved on the front cover with my Father’s name. My Mother hands it to me. “I know that your Father would want you to have this” she says.
I take the Bible in my hand. There are a number of items in between the pages. They are marking pages that my Father was saving for further reference or as favorites. Only one item was an actual bookmarker. The other items were a church bulletin March 16, 1997, from their hometown church. Another was a church tri-fold information pamphlet from the Valley View Bible Church in Telford, Pa. (this is close to the town that I live in, but very far from my parent’s home town. I cannot imagine why he would have had that pamphlet in his procession, as he was never in that church to my knowledge) But most importantly, there is a half of a facial tissue marking one special page. As it happens, when I open the book for the very first time, it opens to the page marked by the facial tissue. On that page is chapter 3 of the book of Ecclesiastes.
It reads….
1There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a (A)time for every event under heaven-- 2A time to give birth and a (B)time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. 3A (C)time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up. 4A time to (D)weep and a time to (E)laugh; A time to mourn and a time to (F)dance. 5A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing. 6A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep and a time to throw away. 7A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; A time to (G)be silent and a time to speak. 8A time to love and a time to (H)hate; A time for war and a time for peace.

I read the verse carefully. I am immediately transported back to the day of my Father’s funeral. I am once again sitting in grief on the back porch steps. The song, There Is a Season Turn turn turn comes rushing back into my mind. I start to get a shiver up my spine. ( I also have a shiver as I write this) In a split second the significance of this all becomes reality. My Father spoke to me as I sat on that porch. He kept his promise to me. I knew that he had arrived and that he was fine.
That is what Life is really all about. Love and Light, Music and Joy, Staying Connected, Looking Out for each other,& Promises Kept.
I Love you Dad.

Oldest Man Dies at 113!

Sunday, July 19, 2009 the headlines read….

Oldest Man Dies at 113.

Setting a new standard for what we, as human beings, can learn to expect in life expectancy and longevity.I am a personal believer that we decide how long we will live and when we will leave to a very large degree. I also believe that death before 100 years of age or so is usually in some way some form of suicide.Let me explain….We are molded by the beliefs of our parents, or those that influenced us, in our formative years. Whatever is instilled in us during those years will influence the core belief of our life’s expectations as we head out into the world.Once we reach a certain point, this being early teens for some or all the way to “never” for others, we start to shed the influences that are counter-productive to our Life.Life is not easy. It has a way of presenting challenges to you over and over again. That is the point. If it were easy, we would all get very bored, very quickly. We are a species that need to be motivated. Discomfort is one of the best motivators. When things get uncomfortable enough, we will “move”.It is just instinct.Now, if we realize this, we can then create a pathway in which we are making better and better decisions. One choice at a time, we can choose the things that are pro to our life. For some, this awakening happens slowly. For others it happens in a split second. In the case of the gentleman who passed yesterday at the age of 113, he had lost his wife in 1970. His children followed. He was waiting to die. But then something or someone inspired him to contribute to the understanding of the sacrifices that he and his comrades made for this world in their service in WWI.The will to live was once again sparked and he continued on for many more productive years.So…..”Will” is a motivator to making the correct chooses for prolonging your life.On the premise that you are born healthy, I believe that your life expectancy can be far greater than ever imagined.We hasten our own demise in many ways. It can be excesses in areas such as tobacco, alcohol, food, drugs, & stress. It may be that through the circumstances in which you have created for yourself, you are very bored with it all, or just plain tired. Some people have just had enough and can not handle the complexities of this world. Take, for example, Michael Jackson.

What part do genes play?

Not as much as we were lead to believe, according to the latest reports. Our own cells and DNA respond more directly to the thought energy that we feed them every day.“Something to live for” seems to be a bigger motivator than inherited DNA traits. I have always stated that I believe that Life Expectancy for Human Beings is at the very least 120 years, if we learn to make extremely correct choices about how we live and what we eat and things that we put into our bodies and, most importantly, what we think, at an early age. The oldest woman in the world today was quoted yesterday. She said she reached 108 years old because of her positive attitude.I will accept that in 3 ½ years, at the age of 60, I will be entering “middle age”. I accept it because that is my belief. It resonates as true to me.I fully intend to use this body to live completely and wonderfully right up until the moment it dies. No long dramatic goodbyes for me.And at 120 years or so, when it has been completely and thoroughly used up, I will escape it in a split second and join the energy field from whence I came. Oh, by the way, if I do come back, it will be as a very well cared for Maltese dog, for they are most certainly the “Angels” on Earth!

Multi-Tasking.....Ouch!

I have come to a realization this past week. Why it has taken me so long to get here is a mystery, now that I am aware.
Multi-Tasking is dangerous to your Health!
How very busy all of our lives seem to be. I am always working on a "Self Imposed to Do List".
I was intent on staying In the Moment, Focused and Calm as well as multi-task at almost every given Moment.
As I felt the knot in in my stomach or the heart palpitation, I would stop for a brief second and re-focus myself....Calm, Breathe Meditate. Then right back to "Business at Hand".
The need this past week for an ultrasound (Abdomen) and feeling under the weather for the past three weeks gave me pause to look at how I was responding to the things presented to me on a moment to moment basis.
Through that observance, I have discovered that Multi-Tasking is the thing that definitely needs to go.
My life went like this....I am at work but part of me is elsewhere. I am at home and while doing one task I am thinking of the others or worse yet, doing three or four at the same time. I am out, supposedly to relax, and I am thinking of what is waiting for me to finish at home or at work.
I started to feel as if everything is being accomplished in fragments and quite truthfully, I was finding no Joy in anything that I was doing.
Yes, I did stay above water with my daily Meditations and spending time "In it, But Not of It". But it really was starting to feel VERY MUCH NOT RIGHT.
Then during one of my meditation sessions it became very clear to me. My Intent is to Honor and Bless each Moment. Multi-tasking is not congruent with this intent.
To Honor each Moment, I must be Present in it. Whether it be doing a load of laundry or meeting with a client. Clear and present in each Moment means Honoring the Action of the Moment and giving it the time it needs to be complete.
I knew this! I have always known this. Why did I forget? I realize that part of my forgetfulness is also a result of multi-tasking.
Where are my car keys?
Why did I walk into the kitchen?
What happened to the pair of shoes I wore yesterday?
Did I return that phone call?
Why is the milk under the sink and the dish soap in the refrigerator?
I am not losing it. I am not sick. (All the tests came back normal) I was afflicted with an ailment called "Multi-tasking". But no more.
My intent is to not only Honor the Moment, but to Honor the Action in that Moment and allow that action to receive my full Blessing....One action at a time.
My head feels clearer and my heart feels lighter already!

Customer No Service

Just How Bad Can Customer Service Get?

I had the strangest experience today.
My little Acer Computer was in need of repair. The fan had become quite noisy. It is still under warranty, so I sent it to the repair facility in Texas a few weeks ago. All went well and this past Tuesday I received an e-mail from the company stating that my computer was repaired and on its way back to me.
As promised, it was delivered early this evening by Fed Ex. I received two boxes instead of one, but both were in my name and address so I signed for them, took them indoors and promptly opened them. To my surprise, each box held an Acer Computer. So sitting in front of me now were two identical computers.
The first thought I had was that possibly my computer was not repairable so the company had returned it and replaced it with a new one. As I opened the computers to view them I quickly saw that each computer had a letter inserted into it describing the repair and addressed to the owner.
One computer was mine; the other belongs to a man in Tennessee
I located the customer service 800 # and called the company to tell them of the error.
The first person that I spoke to is a technician.He could not seem to comprehend what I was telling him. He asked over and over again, “Lady, you sent in one and we sent you two?”
Although I confirmed this as ”Yes,That is Correct” over and over, I got no information from him as to how we could fix this error , so I asked for a customer service rep. He tells me, “We only have one department here and this is it”. He then puts me on hold for 5 minutes. When he returns to the phone he asks again, ”Are you sure you received two?”
“YES I AM SURE ,I AM LOOKING RIGHT AT THEM.” I am now getting a wee bit testy. I did not know that my good deed would cause this much exasperation and I have had a long week and I am hungry and need a glass of wine and this idiot thinks that I am Joking!
“Hold on” he states again and there I am back on hold for 5 more minutes. When he returns, he asks me to read him the serial # on the computer not owned by me. Having already packed it back up ( I was expecting a quick phone call, a Fed Ex call tag and pick up and not a one hour project)I proceed to unwrap and open the box for thr second time. I read him the serial #. Back on hold again……10 minutes this time.
A different person comes back on the line this time. A young man, who seemed to have all the experience of a 19 or 20 year old. He is upset. Seems that the seriousness of the situation is apparent now that they have most definitly cross referenced the serial # and they now know that I am in possession of a computer that is not mine. But most importantly, they realize that they shipped it to me and someone, somewhere is waiting for their computer to be returned as promised.
So the young man has a sense of frantic in his voice and now he is proceeding to tell me what I have to do to solve his problem.
I have to pack up the computer, drive seven miles to a Fed Ex Office (he will provide me with the address) Pay to have it shipped back and I will be reimbursed as soon as they receive it.
I am speechless….. But only for a split second. Then the wrath of “You put me through all of this for the past 45 minutes” became words sternly and loudly spoken back into the phone.
I say to him
“ I am not driving seven miles to drop off something that you sent me by mistake, Schedule a pick up at my home and send Fed Ex to me with a call tag”.
“I cannot do that “ he states “YOU will need to drive it there. They are open until 9PM”.
“I DON’T THINK YOU GET IT”, I shout”I RECEIVED AN EXTRA COMPUTER,DELIVERED TO ME,IN MY NAME,AND AS A PERSON WITH INTEGRITY,I CALLED YOU IMMEDIATELY SO THAT YOU COULD RETRIEVE IT AND GET IT TO IT’S PROPER OWNER. YOU WILL NEED TO SEND A CALL TAG, BECAUSE THAT’S AS FAR AS I GO IN CORRECTING YOUR ERROR.I HAVE NO INTEREST OR TIME TO DRIVE TO A FED EX CENTER.I AM A BUSY PERSON AND I KNOW THAT SENDING FED EX TO ME WITH A CALL TAG IS A SIMPLE PROCESS FOR YOU TO DO. MY COMPANY DOES IT ALL THE TIME.
“Lady”, he says, I will get that computer back one of two ways. You will either do as I say and drive to a Fed Ex center or I will call the police and have you arrested and they will return it to us.”
I could not believe what I had just heard. I thought that he was young and probably inexperienced, but sending the police. “Did I hear you correctly?” I ask. You are threatening to send the police if I don’t drive to a Fed Ex Center with your mistake?”“Oh Please! Send the police! “ I say as I hang up on him. I am now having a fit of laughter.
So, the second Acer Computer is still in my possession. If it is not picked up in 7 days I’ll put it on Ebay! Any Bidders?
Oh, and by the way.If you hear that I am in jail for refusing to work for the Acer Company for free....Give me a few days to catch up on my sleep and then bail me out!

An Unwilling Participant

I believe that I have been an unwilling participant in an experiment to catalog the undesirable affects of Sun deprivation on human beings.
This experiment has been going on since late March and it looks as if it will continue for at least the next few weeks.
To date, the most commonly noted side affects to this experiment have been
· Paleness of the skin
· Frizzy and unruly hair
· A constant need for stimulating drinks
· The desire to nod off at the most inopportune times..like during a conversation.
· The strong desire to jump back into my bed as I make it up each morning.
· A slight, but annoying pain in my lower back.
· Yawning as soon as I sit down
· A “creak” in my neck when I turn it from side to side.
· Forgetfulness…Especially if it requires movement
· A nagging cough
· Craving sweet treats
· The need to shield my eyes from light bulbs over 60 watts
· Depression, knowing that as each sunless day slides by, winter is one day closer.
· Reduction in the quality of sleep
· Irritability , especially when I think that it is already June 15
· Inability to complete tasks that have more than 2 steps
· Decreased creativity, my vocabulary is suffering the most.
· Loss of interest….in anything that involves getting off of the couch after 6PM
I am considering a complete and total boycott of this experiment.
I am thinking about a week in the Bahamas. I know it isn’t the best time for travel in that part of the world, what with hurricane season and all. But I am willing to take my chances.

Expedia.com

Here I come!

Whispers in the Night

Whispers in the Night

It happened again last night, just as I was about to fall asleep. A voice, Plain as Day and very loudly, said something to me. I awoke with a start. It had only spoken three words. But the quickly I could not remember what the words were. I lifted my head from the pillow and looked around the bedroom. I half expected to see someone standing there but of course there was no one.
I laid my head down again and tried very hard to remember the three words that I had heard. I could not.
My husband and I both hear music playing late at night on some nights. He will say to me
, “Do you hear that?”And I will verify that I hear it also. He will describe the rhythm or beat and I will confirm. I guess if we had neighbors nearby this would not be so unusual. But we do not. And when the music plays, it seems to come out of our heat and A.C. vents.
Oh, and did I mention the doorbell? It is the doorbell on the side of our home that has a life of its own. It is a wireless doorbell. Battery Operated. We have changed to a new model twice now in an effort to stop the anonymous ringing. But it continues anyway. The funny thing is….all three door bells that we have chosen have had one chime option only. Yet when it chimes anonymously it has an entirely different melody! Strange but true.
We have now accepted the anonymous ringing of the doorbell. In fact, it has been happening so many years now that when we hear the anonymous melody we do not even attempt to answer the door. Friends and family have accepted it as well. If we are in their company when this happens we all laugh and remark, ”The ghost is here again”.
And then of course there are the lamps. We have had one or two turn on without assistance on a number of occasions.
Now I know what you are thinking! Faulty wiring??
Well we have had that checked although the house is only 12 years old. All is well. And remember , the doorbell is wireless.

So, I am quite accustomed to strange things happening. They seem to follow me where ever I am. It has been that way since I was a child.
My best recollection is of my dog “Penny”
A little black terrier that I loved very much. Penny was the family pet. But she was very attached to me. She would sleep with me, all curled up in the nook that my knees made as I slept on my side.
She was just tall enough to walk under a lawn chair and tickle your backside! In those days our lawn chairs were webbed nylon material on an aluminum frame. We would sit on our front porch and Penny would go underneath, back and forth, tickling us and making us giggle like crazy. It was a game that we played over and over on many a summer evening.
Funny thing is….Penny continued to do this and sleep in my bed for many years after her death.
I did not find this odd. I really just considered it normal. So I guess that is why I can hear loud voices speak to me at night and I don’t jump out of my skin.
As I understand more and more about Quantum Physics, I am beginning to grasp some knowledge in the flow of energy. After all it is all energy. We just recognize it in a way that is familiar to us.

I responded to the energy last night. I sent a thought of my willingness to listen if it wanted to try again. It did not respond. I guess I should have been paying more attention the first time!
Oh well, there will be other opportunities.
And of course the doorbell is a weekly reminder.

All That I Know

All That I Am

I Am in this Moment

No more, No Less

Simply what I AM

Floating Away

Moment floats like

A glorious bubble

On a spring day

Made full from pure breathe

Of a child at play

Breathe contains Seeds

Of All that May Be

Pregnant Potential

Transparent inside

Creating Me