O.K. Pre Surgery tests. I am a pin cushion. My chest xray picked up a shadow on my right lung that may be a nodule so they had to be done over. Two trips for xrays today. The second report not back yet.
EKG showed a previous heart attack. Not believing that. I am asking for a re do at my cardiologist instead of with the Primary Care Group. Their equipment is so old and the tech not specialized. I had a great EKG in December 2010. If I had a heart attack since then I slept through it.
That the problem with all these tests after 50. There are things to find that I may not want to know about. Ignorance is Bliss is some instances.
I an on anti anxiety meds....I love them..... They are allowing me to stop crying and start on a retraining of Positive thought.
I will not give in to this....but I also will not buy any new Spring clothes until I survive this. By then it will be Summer anyway.
So what is my Plan.......still unsure. I am still at the mercy of natural emotional reaction. I have never allowed myself to stay in the state long but for some reason (Call it intuition) I feel as if I need my emotions to lead me out of this instead of me taking charge and demanding control like I normally would.
You are born alone, and you die alone but the big span in the middle is meant to be shared with others. I am still in that big span in the middle. My Journey....This time around. <3
No idea you were going through this. I know we have been internet friends and yet I feel so close to you. My thoughts and prayers are with Deb. You are an inspiration and I feel your spirit when you give me words of encouragement. We are sisters in spirit and I am sending good energy your way.
ReplyDelete