Tony and I spent most of yesterday sharing our fears and feelings. Sometimes very comforting, sometimes hard to do, but nevertheless a great step forward in mental preparation.
I am not the only victim of this aneurysm. My family and close friends are too.
Tony asked me how he could Not Possibly worry......my answer to him is to truly believe that worry will have absolutely no bearing on the outcome. We can worry every minute........the outcome is still gonna be the outcome......or we can not focus on the worry......and the outcome is still gonna be the outcome. Not bad philosophy for someone with a bubble in their frontal lobe ! Shows that I can still rationalize which I am sure is a great sign!
If that fails, I offered to share my Ativan with him. He declined!
Anyhow, a very interesting moment did come out of this discussion.
He reminded me that about three months ago I had started to express to him that I was afraid to stay alone while he traveled. All of a sudden those Premonitions came back to my memory.
I started to have them in February 2011. I would see myself alone at night collapsing and lying on the floor. I had a feeling that no one would be there to find me. I even saw my dogs crying for help. At that time I expressed this to Tony. He couldn't understand my new fear and neither could I. We joked about ordering a Life Alert button. But I said to him that this premonition did not give me time to even push a button.
As we talked about this , I am so reminded of a Greater Power and the Energy of this Uni(one) Verse (song) providing me with everything that I need at the proper time to manifest the perfect outcome.......whatever outcome that may be.
Let go of the shore......explore and experience the mystery
With My Love
Deb
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