I just received the last phone call from Penn Medicine prior to surgery. More blood typing tests are needed for Tuesday. I will also be meeting with the Anesthesiologist. I will need to be at admissions for 5:30 am on Wednesday morning. Surgery will begin about 7:30am.
So Monday is my day. I am having a pedicure and a set of pink and white nails. My friend Nanci is going with me to treat herself as well
The surgeon gave the OK to keep my acrylic nails. He said that there are other ways to check oxygen levels in case the finger sensor couldn't read through it. He didn't seem to think that the question was odd in any way! That's how I know that he is a cool Doctor with a wife that probably loves her pink and white nails too.
I am getting a bit depressed now. I find myself crying every now and then. Mostly for the loss, even if temporary, of my life the way I know it. And of course there is the lingering bit of fear that things may never be the same. That thought does make me very sad. I have a great life. I can only hope that it will be as good or better on the other end of this experience.
So I am feeling a bit sorry for myself and really hate to be that way. I can only experience what I feel, embrace it, and try to understand it.
I know at a deep level that I am safe. I know that I am strong. I know that I have a very competent team of medical expertise around me. I know that I am surrounded by the Love and great energy of many friends and family. But the "Why Me?" question does sneak into my thoughts at my most vulnerable moments. And the only answer that I have for that is Why Not Me?
The sun really hasn't shined in it's true brilliance in many weeks. My intention is to shine with it in a week or two. I can do this.............
Love
Debra
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