"I will give you comfort with my CORE ENERGY...feel this in my heart to you and see yourself as in well being as you will be fine as you are right Now and God will protect you as so your Soul will be there as it is always there which is here....just keep moving forward as this is in your will to do so...I LOVE YOU...and your Soul always does as well(+)"
I always understand his messages. Even though I usually need to read them very slowly, add my own commas (pauses) and think about it for a second or two. My inner self recognizes the meaning immediately though.
Day before surgery. I am well. The Universe has provided me with everything that I need to walk into this mystery in Faith.
One final day of tests and consultation at Penn. They really seem to take this brain surgery stuff very serious there.
I will not post again until I wake up and can use my IPad. Not sure how quick that will be but my money is on really quick so I am asking Tony to keep it with him.
My family and friends have all been so amazingly supportive and surrounding. You are all part of the reason that I am well. We are all one. Our energy does not know separate
When we rally to assist another in thoughts , acts, and prayers....all for a common cause ....we are the Face of God.
That is what it's all about.
Love
Debra
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Preparing for Recovery
I had my first appointment today with the new PCP that will be my medical ally in the weeks and months after surgery.
This might sound a bit strange but I can tell if the new Doctor is a good match for me by how high or low my blood pressure is at her office.
My last PCP, who I had fired after being so incompetent with my tests,tests results and guidance, is now completely out of the picture. Yeah! My blood pressure in that incompetents office was always high....always. I always felt like my bp was trying to tell me something.
Well anyway today at my first visit with my new PCP my bp was 120/74. Perfect, she said!
Guess my inner being likes her!
She also gave me some much needed reasurance about the chest X-ray. She said she does want to follow up with it over the summer after I feel well enough to have a cat scan, but in her opinion, 90% of these types of shadows are nothing.
After spending a good 30-40 minutes with me, I left her office to find an over full waiting room. Apparently she spent some extra time with me and put herself behind schedule. I was grateful for her time, questions, assurances and concern.
I do think that I may have found a great Match!
This might sound a bit strange but I can tell if the new Doctor is a good match for me by how high or low my blood pressure is at her office.
My last PCP, who I had fired after being so incompetent with my tests,tests results and guidance, is now completely out of the picture. Yeah! My blood pressure in that incompetents office was always high....always. I always felt like my bp was trying to tell me something.
Well anyway today at my first visit with my new PCP my bp was 120/74. Perfect, she said!
Guess my inner being likes her!
She also gave me some much needed reasurance about the chest X-ray. She said she does want to follow up with it over the summer after I feel well enough to have a cat scan, but in her opinion, 90% of these types of shadows are nothing.
After spending a good 30-40 minutes with me, I left her office to find an over full waiting room. Apparently she spent some extra time with me and put herself behind schedule. I was grateful for her time, questions, assurances and concern.
I do think that I may have found a great Match!
Friday, April 22, 2011
One More Day of Testing
I just received the last phone call from Penn Medicine prior to surgery. More blood typing tests are needed for Tuesday. I will also be meeting with the Anesthesiologist. I will need to be at admissions for 5:30 am on Wednesday morning. Surgery will begin about 7:30am.
So Monday is my day. I am having a pedicure and a set of pink and white nails. My friend Nanci is going with me to treat herself as well
The surgeon gave the OK to keep my acrylic nails. He said that there are other ways to check oxygen levels in case the finger sensor couldn't read through it. He didn't seem to think that the question was odd in any way! That's how I know that he is a cool Doctor with a wife that probably loves her pink and white nails too.
I am getting a bit depressed now. I find myself crying every now and then. Mostly for the loss, even if temporary, of my life the way I know it. And of course there is the lingering bit of fear that things may never be the same. That thought does make me very sad. I have a great life. I can only hope that it will be as good or better on the other end of this experience.
So I am feeling a bit sorry for myself and really hate to be that way. I can only experience what I feel, embrace it, and try to understand it.
I know at a deep level that I am safe. I know that I am strong. I know that I have a very competent team of medical expertise around me. I know that I am surrounded by the Love and great energy of many friends and family. But the "Why Me?" question does sneak into my thoughts at my most vulnerable moments. And the only answer that I have for that is Why Not Me?
The sun really hasn't shined in it's true brilliance in many weeks. My intention is to shine with it in a week or two. I can do this.............
Love
Debra
So Monday is my day. I am having a pedicure and a set of pink and white nails. My friend Nanci is going with me to treat herself as well
The surgeon gave the OK to keep my acrylic nails. He said that there are other ways to check oxygen levels in case the finger sensor couldn't read through it. He didn't seem to think that the question was odd in any way! That's how I know that he is a cool Doctor with a wife that probably loves her pink and white nails too.
I am getting a bit depressed now. I find myself crying every now and then. Mostly for the loss, even if temporary, of my life the way I know it. And of course there is the lingering bit of fear that things may never be the same. That thought does make me very sad. I have a great life. I can only hope that it will be as good or better on the other end of this experience.
So I am feeling a bit sorry for myself and really hate to be that way. I can only experience what I feel, embrace it, and try to understand it.
I know at a deep level that I am safe. I know that I am strong. I know that I have a very competent team of medical expertise around me. I know that I am surrounded by the Love and great energy of many friends and family. But the "Why Me?" question does sneak into my thoughts at my most vulnerable moments. And the only answer that I have for that is Why Not Me?
The sun really hasn't shined in it's true brilliance in many weeks. My intention is to shine with it in a week or two. I can do this.............
Love
Debra
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Surgeons Update
My surgeon, Dr. Peter Le Roux, called yesterday. He outlined the Plan of Action for surgery.Not mush has changed from the original plan. The only surprise that he got was the discovery of the second aneurysm on the opposite side (right side). this second aneurysm is on the carotid artery as well....just on the carotid artery in the opposite side of my brain. it is in the same location,situated behind my right eye. This little guy is only 2mm as opposed to the big guy on the left which is 1.5cm.
Dr. Le Roux is proceeding with intracranial surgery to repair the big guy. If that goes well, and I am stable, he will make an attempt to slip a clip onto the little guy. If the little guy is to far away to reach without disturbing additional brain tissue, he will not attempt a repair at that time.
so if the second little guy does not get a repair, i will need to have testing, most likely angiograms every 6 months to track it's growth.
As far as I'm concerned that is another bridge for another day.....
Anyway.....my very patient Brain Surgeon calmly told me that he is confident of a completely successful surgery and a quick recovery. He answered all my questions and then left me with a"Stay well" until I see you next week.
That is my goal also..........Make it to "the Fix".
Love
Debra
Dr. Le Roux is proceeding with intracranial surgery to repair the big guy. If that goes well, and I am stable, he will make an attempt to slip a clip onto the little guy. If the little guy is to far away to reach without disturbing additional brain tissue, he will not attempt a repair at that time.
so if the second little guy does not get a repair, i will need to have testing, most likely angiograms every 6 months to track it's growth.
As far as I'm concerned that is another bridge for another day.....
Anyway.....my very patient Brain Surgeon calmly told me that he is confident of a completely successful surgery and a quick recovery. He answered all my questions and then left me with a"Stay well" until I see you next week.
That is my goal also..........Make it to "the Fix".
Love
Debra
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
No Update Yet
I should be receiving a phone call within a few days from the Neurosurgical Dept. At Penn Medicine. This phone call will be the outline of the final plan for the surgery and if any changes to the original plan were made after the Doctors received my angiogram info from the tests last week.
I will also receive final instructions to prepare for the surgery. Until that call, I really have nothing new to share other than I have been following the advice of my Doctor in regards to staying as relaxed as possible, keeping a close watch on my blood pressure ( I check it 4-5 times a day)and not bending over to the point of putting my head below my heart. Now the not bending over rule is the hardest to follow. I have fought myself at least 30-40 times in the process of bending over....stopping myself just in time.....and stooping to do whatever I feel it is I need to do at that moment. Whether it be feeding the dogs, picking up a piece of lint, or a toy from the floor. I never had such a sense of how many times I bend over in a day until now!
Oh well......as soon as I have news, I will share.
Love
Debra
Laugh
Tuesday evening can only be described by one word. LAUGH!
Stephanie and Ray arrived to join Suzanne and I. Of course my IPad immediately was confiscated by my grandson.
As Suz, Steph, and I were in the kitchen, he was playing on the IPad in the family room.his first request was, "MomMom, how do yo spell jib jab?" I told him how and we ladies went back to our conversation. His second request was "MomMom, what I'd your password?" guess that should of been the first clue. Next was ,MomMom, this only 0 dollars and 99 cents.
OK.....maybe we better take a look at what he is doing. LOL
After Steph and Ray left, Suz and I sat down to a martini ( I am allowed one drink a day and intend to take full advantage of that! ) We then conversed about so many topics that I could never mention them all.....but in the true "Suzanne Style" every topic was hilarious enough to have us both laughing all evening. Laughter is the best medicine.
Another gift from another friend......I haven't laughed in quite awhile.
I am so Blessed!
Oh and by the way.....We discovered that Ray had added 3 new games to his app page on my IPad And they each cost 99 cents! He is way too smart for 4 1/2!
Love
Debra
Stephanie and Ray arrived to join Suzanne and I. Of course my IPad immediately was confiscated by my grandson.
As Suz, Steph, and I were in the kitchen, he was playing on the IPad in the family room.his first request was, "MomMom, how do yo spell jib jab?" I told him how and we ladies went back to our conversation. His second request was "MomMom, what I'd your password?" guess that should of been the first clue. Next was ,MomMom, this only 0 dollars and 99 cents.
OK.....maybe we better take a look at what he is doing. LOL
After Steph and Ray left, Suz and I sat down to a martini ( I am allowed one drink a day and intend to take full advantage of that! ) We then conversed about so many topics that I could never mention them all.....but in the true "Suzanne Style" every topic was hilarious enough to have us both laughing all evening. Laughter is the best medicine.
Another gift from another friend......I haven't laughed in quite awhile.
I am so Blessed!
Oh and by the way.....We discovered that Ray had added 3 new games to his app page on my IPad And they each cost 99 cents! He is way too smart for 4 1/2!
Love
Debra
Overwhelming Love
This week Is unfolding as a week of shared and expressed Love. I have had a friend or family member here with me almost every moment.
Monday was my dear friend Aileen. She arrived with a bag full of organic and homemade vegetarian foods. We spent the day reflecting,reminiscing.,and meditating. We actually even had a late afternoon nap! Needless to say, I was feeling relaxed and very balanced by the end of her visit.
Tuesday, as Aileen was leaving, Another dear friend and co worker arrived. Michelle arrived with Hugs and kisses, and such an overwhelming energy of concern and Love. I was immediately surrounded by her energy of well being. Michelle could only stay a few hours but before she left my Sales Manager and dear friend Suzanne arrived.
She was carrying a bag with tissue paper. She told me that she had a very special gift for me.
Now.....I am not exactly sure if I am releying this information exactly as it was told to me by Michelle and Suzanne, be I will try.
In the bag was beautiful hand made shawl. They told be that it was a Prayer Shawl. It was made by a very sweet young woman and co worker.
Her name is Janet.
Janet made the shawl in colors that she felt reflected me,then cleansed the shawl, then she and her Mother took the shawl to her church where many people touched it and prayed for a successful surgery and my return to health. Janet then took the shawl to work where many of my co workers added their prayer energy to the shawl. It was then wrapped in tissue paper and brought to me.
I can't even begin to express how deeply touched I was by this gesture of Love!
You see......last week I had expressed to Tony that I had a need to buy "something" to cover my shoulders and wear around me in the hospital. We went shopping over the weekend.I searched for the "something" that my inner self was requesting. I really could not find anything that even faintly resembled what I wanted.
I fould it yesterday.........as soon as the Shawl came out of the bag my heart and soul knew it. Now I know that my feelings last week were not that I needed to go and buy something. Those feelings were trying to tell me that the perfect thing was being created for me by the Love of so many people, most of whom I don't even know. Now this to me is a True Miracle.
"I recognize that within each of us is a place where divinity dwells, and when we are in that place, we are one."
That is Namaste.
Love
Debra
Monday was my dear friend Aileen. She arrived with a bag full of organic and homemade vegetarian foods. We spent the day reflecting,reminiscing.,and meditating. We actually even had a late afternoon nap! Needless to say, I was feeling relaxed and very balanced by the end of her visit.
Tuesday, as Aileen was leaving, Another dear friend and co worker arrived. Michelle arrived with Hugs and kisses, and such an overwhelming energy of concern and Love. I was immediately surrounded by her energy of well being. Michelle could only stay a few hours but before she left my Sales Manager and dear friend Suzanne arrived.
She was carrying a bag with tissue paper. She told me that she had a very special gift for me.
Now.....I am not exactly sure if I am releying this information exactly as it was told to me by Michelle and Suzanne, be I will try.
In the bag was beautiful hand made shawl. They told be that it was a Prayer Shawl. It was made by a very sweet young woman and co worker.
Her name is Janet.
Janet made the shawl in colors that she felt reflected me,then cleansed the shawl, then she and her Mother took the shawl to her church where many people touched it and prayed for a successful surgery and my return to health. Janet then took the shawl to work where many of my co workers added their prayer energy to the shawl. It was then wrapped in tissue paper and brought to me.
I can't even begin to express how deeply touched I was by this gesture of Love!
You see......last week I had expressed to Tony that I had a need to buy "something" to cover my shoulders and wear around me in the hospital. We went shopping over the weekend.I searched for the "something" that my inner self was requesting. I really could not find anything that even faintly resembled what I wanted.
I fould it yesterday.........as soon as the Shawl came out of the bag my heart and soul knew it. Now I know that my feelings last week were not that I needed to go and buy something. Those feelings were trying to tell me that the perfect thing was being created for me by the Love of so many people, most of whom I don't even know. Now this to me is a True Miracle.
"I recognize that within each of us is a place where divinity dwells, and when we are in that place, we are one."
That is Namaste.
Love
Debra
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